MY VERY DIRTY DAY

So I had an interesting morning today. I had the Kirby vacuum company pestering me about coming over to clean/shampoo my carpet for free and give me a demo on their new, super powered vacuum. Okay, whatever, stuff for free is cool so I finally agreed after 4 phone calls and rescheduling the appointment three times. What was demo'd to me was the numerous ways this vacuum kicks major ass... and believe me, it definitely kicks ass... for the price of two thousand dollars. That's right. When he asked me if I was interested in this kick ass vacuum (after demonstrating how dirty my floor was with his special demo kit) and I said, "Sure, why not?" I did a double take... Not $19.99...? No? 1, 999? OH my god!

Okay, it's just inconceivable to me that people can and WILL spend two thousand dollars on a vacuum. People who know me will understand my animated disbelief at this. Having traveled and lived in places such as Africa and Central America, I am stunned at how 1) Americans spend money and 2) what they choose to spend it on. Sure, I've spent two thousand dollars before, in one lump sum. On things like a computer to do my music and paying off a student loan.. and I just can't fathom that much money on something like a... vacuum.. So that you can clean all day.....


Okay, so here's the funnier part. The sales rep- who was really a nice guy, by the way- shows me all this cool stuff, how much dirt the thing is picking up off the walls, the celing, the corners of my floor, under my fridge (wow.. you mean it gets DIRTY there?!) and so on and is going on about how I'm breathing all this stuff, blah blah blah and says, "Now, is that OKAY with you? That you're breathing in all this stuff?" And me, in my charming little way of being blunt says, "Well, honestly? Yeah. I mean, look, man.. I've lived in West Africa.. millions of other people live in places where their house is a DIRT floor... you can't tell me that this little bit of dirt is hurting me." It boggles the mind. Think about the thousands of years that human beings have been on this earth.. and that it's only in the last, what?, 60, 70 years that we've had vacuums? So why is dirt and dust suddenly so awful? I never had issues in West Africa or central America with dust, dirt, bugs hurting or violating me. So I just can't understand why this vaccuum is so damn important for me to have... for the cost of two thousand dollars.

Throughout his presenation he's showing me all the cool little gadgets for the Kirby.. things to vacuum the furniture, the walls, the ceiling, under things, above things, in between things, the mattress, the piano, how it turns into a shampoo cleaner, etc, etc.. and he keeps asking, "You'd definitely use this if you had it, right?" And I say, "uh, well I guess... sure, why not?" but increasingly, I'm thinking, "Holy shit! If I owned this vacuum, I'd spend all frickin' day cleaning! I think this vacuum could turn me into a neurotic clean freak! If that attachment is there, I must need to use it." There's another reason to not spend 2 grand on it! Vacuum the windows, the cupboards, the stereo, the sink, the radiator, the bookshelf.. hell! Why not just get a leaf blower?!


So later on the guy says, "So, what do you think? Want to go ahead and buy this right now? Would credit card, check or cash suit you better?" Again, I say, "Honestly? No.. I mean why would I spend TWO THOUSAND dollars on a vacuum of all things? That's a plane ticket.. two plane tickets!.. to Europe!" So blah blah blah, a very nice guy who unfortunately met one of the most unconventional Americans out there. I'm fine with my crappy Eureka $60 vacuum even if it spits out a dust mite here and there.

Anyway, I spent the rest of the day in awe.